I once heard that I am the least objective person about myself in the world. At the time I heard it, I had to stop and think about that for a bit. Up until that time, I had always considered that I was fairly objective about myself. However, I suddenly realized, that I always think favorably towards my own point of view in every situation I experience! It just comes naturally to me! I would be willing to bet the same is true of you as well.
This is not to say that we are never able to see our own faults, but the challenge comes when our faults are exposed to us in a way that we do not like. It is not fun when a mate, a child, a parent, a co-worker or some other individual points out a fault in your character. Personal growth is often very painful. Life requires hard work and there is no work that is harder than facing our own flaws and making corrections within ourselves – especially when those flaws are pointed out to us by other people in a manner that “grates” on us!
What if we were to receive a letter in the mail each week from someone we truly love and admire and they told us how wonderful we were and how great we were doing in life? They might even close their letter with one or two suggestions of things we could work on that would make life better for us. I suppose that would be somewhat palatable. Each of us would probably say, “Well, I certainly will work on that because I know this person cares about me and is trying to be helpful.” While that might be acceptable, it does not seem to be the common way that most corrections come to us. Usually they come through another person who may not be extremely kind about it. In fact, they can sometimes be rather blunt when telling us our faults.
I worked as a lifeguard when I was a teenager. I was still rather immature and somewhat lazy. The coach in charge of the pool got fed up with me one day and said, “Having you for help is like having no help at all!” Oh, that hurt. But, he was right! I did not want to be like that. I did not want to be that kind of person. He was more objective about me than I was about myself. I woke up that day. I am now grateful for his rebuke!
As I mentioned above, growth can be painful. The more you want to grow, the more pain you may experience. And, no one likes pain. A friend of mine told me that when he was going through a very difficult time, he prayed and asked God, “Why do you use pain so much to get my attention?” He said God responded to him and said, “Because it works!” While I do not think that God is sadistic in any way, I do think He sometimes has to get our attention in ways that are not always comfortable or easy to accept. However, the process of personal growth and improvement is well worth the effort (and pain) that we must go through in order to achieve success.
The next time you feel daring, why not find a good friend with whom you are close and ask them what one thing they would fix or change about you if they could? Since you cannot see your own “blind spots,” why not ask a trusted friend to offer one specific suggestion? You may be surprised to hear the answer. I recently did that with a friend of mine and the one thing he suggested has been a very important area for my personal improvement. I already feel better for facing the issue and dealing with it.
We all have different issues and will be better when we face them and deal with them. If you feel up to it let this be a personal project that perhaps will take you to a whole new level in your life. After all, if others are more objective about you than you are about yourself, then this project can only help make you a better person. I also believe it will bring about a new person in you that you will certainly enjoy becoming!
Tip: You are on the wrong side of your eyeballs to be objective about yourself!
Have a great week!
God bless you!
Dr. Robert A. Rohm