Tip: When you want to grow, get ready to be pulled back!


One of the best days you will ever experience in life is the day you wake up and decide you want to have a better life. You would think that everyone would be excited about your new decision. Unfortunately, many of those around you will not be very happy with your new desire! This will cause your good decision to feel very strange indeed.

Although you may believe in your heart that everyone wants you to have a wonderful life, the truth is that most people do not want you to “outgrow” them. They want you to be happy being stuck in the land called “Average”. The only problem with average is that it is just as near the bottom as it is to the top. When you want to move out of “average” it will not be an easy journey. You will soon begin to be “pulled on” in ways you could never have imagined!

A little girl was in the kitchen with her mother one day and she asked, “Mommy, why do flowers grow?” It had been a rough day and the mother was more than a little frustrated by another question from her young child…especially since it would require so much effort to answer. Finally, in exasperation, she looked at her daughter and said, “I guess the seed just gets tired of being in the ground and it wants to get out of the dirt, so up it comes!” The more the mother thought about her answer, the more she realized the profound wisdom that had unwittingly come from her mouth!

It really is true. After being “in the dirt” for a while, most of us get sick and tired of being “sick and tired”. We want out! We want something better for our lives. But, when you are the one who makes the decision to change, do not be surprised by the fact that many of those closest to you will become your greatest critics. When you begin to grow, you will receive subtle massages of both hurt and disgust from those you leave behind in your quest for a better life. On the other hand, however, you also will receive great encouragement from those who are cheering you on to move forward! It is just a fact of life. The people who want you to achieve and do better are few; therefore, their voices are harder to hear. Those who want you to stay where you are (or at least not move on ahead of them) are many. You will not realize it until you begin to make the change. How many of us can look back in our lives and see that the best thing that we ever did was to get away from our “old friends”? When we got a new group of friends who were more positive and helpful it made our lives so much better. But again, that move is not an easy one!

Blue crabs are interesting creatures. I am told that if you want to contain them in a barrel you need to always keep at least two crabs in the barrel at the same time. Every time one tries to get out, another one will pull him back down into the barrel. If, however, you get down to just one, that one blue crab is likely to escape since there is no other crab to pull him back.

I think that illustration sums up this Tip better than anything else. If there is someone who always pulls you down, it might be wise to limit the amount of time you spend with that person. (And heaven forbid that any of us would be the one pulling someone else back!)

Though we all face times of difficulty and challenge, most of us can see how our lives have gotten better over the years. Due to the improvements in technology in the information age this is a great time in which we now live. The opportunities for change are many if we decide to choose a better life for ourselves. However, we must be careful to observe and remember that the very people we hang around with and listen to will end up being the ones who either cheer us on to our destiny or end up being the very ones who hold us back for fear we might pass them by. It could be a family member, a business associate or even a total stranger. We all meet many people in our lives – so the “pull” could come from a lot of different sources.

This Tip is not meant to be cruel or harsh toward anyone. It is just an important truth that each of us must wake up to if we are going to have a better life. After all, it is not the natives in the jungles of Africa who are trying to hold you back in life. More than likely, it is the people you associate with daily. Be careful who you associate with this week and see if you can escape the barrel of crabs!

Tip: When you want to grow, get ready to be pulled back!

Have a great week! God bless you!

Dr. Robert A. Rohm

Dr. Robert A. Rohm, Ph.D.

Dr. Robert A. Rohm, Ph.D.

Top selling author and speaker, Robert Rohm Ph.D. is founder of Personality Insights Inc. and The Robert Rohm Co. As you will see, Dr. Rohm specializes in helping people better understand themselves and others.