Have you ever had something happen in your life and you just could not let it go? It might have been a situation involving money, or another family relationship, or one in which you were holding a grudge. All of us face situations with our family and friends that cause us to hold on more tightly than we should. When something goes deeply into our emotions, we sometimes just do not want to let it go until we have had our final say.
If you have seen the Rocky movies, you may recall that in Rocky I, Apollo Creed took a surprised beating at the hands of Rocky Balboa. Apollo wanted a rematch and the chance to set things straight. Though Apollo’s manager told him to move on in his career, Apollo could not let it go. He wanted a rematch because he felt that Rocky had only gotten lucky the first time. Apollo was determined to “settle the score” in a second match. His manager pleaded with him to, “let it go,” but there was no changing his mind. Ironically, Apollo should have listened to his manager because Rocky won the second fight.
That is what I am talking about in this Tip. Sometimes we just cannot let things go. And when we do not, we end up like Apollo, taking a beating that could have been avoided.
Recently, I experienced this in a different sort of way. I found a property that I really wanted to buy. The price was right, and the opportunity was valuable. If I could move on the deal quickly, I could make a handsome profit. There was only one problem. There was someone ahead of me who already had a contract on the property. After I submitted a contract as well, I called the selling agent every day for almost a week to see if the first person was going to qualify. I was told that apparently, they would qualify, but I would be notified if they did not.
In talking to a friend of mine about the situation, he made a casual observation. “I thought you once told me not to get tied up in business deals where there was so much emotion involved.” I thought to myself, “I don’t have that much emotion tied up in this deal! I just think it is a good opportunity.” Suddenly I realized that was not true. I did have a lot of emotion in the deal, and it was consuming me! I immediately took a deep breath and decided that if it was supposed to work out, it would, and if it did not, then it was not meant to be.
A couple of weeks passed, and the realtor called to tell me that the first person had qualified and was about to close on the property. Every time I drive by that property, I realize that it was not right for me and that I had too much emotion tied up in it.
You see, when you cannot let go of something, it consumes you. If it is on your mind night and day and you cannot walk away from it, you can be assured that it has mastered you. Whether it is in a personal relationship or in a business relationship, if you hold on too tightly, you will only make matters worse rather than better. However, if you can hold the situation “loosely”, then you are truly in a position to make a calm, rational decision and keep a level head in all that you do. In a word, if you cannot walk away from a deal, then you should not be involved in it!
This week, look at what has a high emotional hold on you. If you feel that it is consuming too much of your life, it might be a good idea to let it go. If things are supposed to work out, it has been my experience that they usually do. And, if not, then we must learn to live with that aspect of the situation as well. But, in the long run, we will be happier and healthier if we do not hold on so tightly.
I want to be balanced and healthy in my emotions and I am sure that you do too! Learn to walk away from something that has an unhealthy grip on you this week. You will be glad that you did!
Tip: What you can walk away from, you have mastered; what you cannot walk away from has mastered you!
Have a great week! God bless you!
Dr. Robert A. Rohm