In previous Tips I have talked about my years as a school principal. I was only twenty-four years old at the time and had only been teaching for two years. I was as green as grass! I suppose someone saw in me the desire to be a leader so they “stuck” me in that position. Anyway, it was an incredible learning experience and probably caused me to grow up more than anything else in my life, other than having children of my own.
I had teachers on my staff who were old enough to be my parents and I had one teacher, Ruby Davenport, who was old enough to be my grandmother. I look back on all of this with such irony now because I can see that I actually thought that I was supposed to be helping them. The truth of the matter is, they were not only helping me be a better school principal, they were probably raising me as a child, as well!
One day I was talking to Ruby about some of the behavior challenges we had at our school. She was seventy years old at the time and a well-worn trooper. She had a lot of experience under her belt. Anyway, as we were discussing different students that day she said, “A busy child is seldom a behavior problem!” She went on to explain to me that most children who misbehave or act up in school are simply doing so because they are bored. They need to be challenged or they need to be kept busy. She explained that this was more difficult for the teacher because it put pressure on them to do better planning to stay ahead of those who were causing behavioral problems. She said that we could eliminate most of our issues if we would simply stay one step ahead of our students by being more active and busy with our curriculum and classroom activities. Again, I was only twenty-four years old at the time, but that left a lasting impression on me. The more I taught our teachers to keep their students active and busy, the less behavior problems we had. And, in time, I can honestly say that with a small exception, most of our behavior problems vanished. Ruby was right; a busy child is seldom a behavior problem.
I have lived long enough to see that a busy mind is also a happy mind. When I say “busy” I’m not talking about just running around in circles trying to be busy in a bad sense. But, I am talking about being busy in a good sense. Maybe a better word would be “active.” A person who is active and keeps themselves alert, I believe, will be better off than a person who is not active. A person who is active and learning and growing in their own personal life will be happier, healthier and more productive. Again, I am not talking about being active or busy just for the sake of having something to do.
I’m sure we all have heard about people who become inactive and soon bad things begin to happen. In fact, I was checking in at Delta Airlines baggage area recently at the Atlanta airport and was talking to an individual who had been working with Delta for many, many years. I asked him how much longer before he would able to retire. He looked at me and said, “I’m not sure I want to do that!”
“Why is that?” I said.
He said, “We have found that most of the people here in the baggage department seem to die rather quickly after they retire. Several of my co-workers have done that. I have come to the conclusion that I don’t really want to retire. I think I want to stay active!”
When he said that, I could not help but think of a report I once heard of concerning government workers. The government has many workers on its payroll; therefore they are able to keep vital statistics on their retirees. I once read that the average government worker only lives about eighteen months after retirement. I think there is something that happens inside of anyone who retires and does not stay active. Their mind begins to speak to their body and it says something like, “You’re all through! You are finished. You don’t have to go to work any more. You have nothing to do. You can stop now. Everything has ended for you.” I believe their body picks up on that message and pretty soon it cooperates and shuts down - completely. And, that is called death! I certainly don’t want that to be the case for myself or you.
Again, let me reiterate the fact that I’m not talking about just being busy for the sake of being busy, but I am talking about being active, fruitful, and profitable in your life. You get up every day with new challenges and new opportunities to learn and grow in different areas of your life in which you have interest. Life is too precious and valuable to get to the place that we have nothing to do.
I lived through the “hippie” generation. Many of them said that their parents’ goal was to get to the place where they could retire. Therefore, rather than waiting until they themselves got to retirement age to drop out and have nothing to do, they just did it while they were still young. I believe many in that generation found that was not the way to go. After they got that nonsense out of their system, they began to have more of a profitable and productive life. It just makes no sense economically, financially, relationally, socially, spiritually or mentally to have nothing to do. But, when you are busy, active, alert and fruitful, that will lead you to live a life that is profitable and successful. I know that’s the kind of life I want and I’m sure that is the kind of life you want, too.
Have a great week! God bless you!
Robert Rohm Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.
Just this week we ran into some electrical problems in our office building here at Personality Insights. One of the circuit breakers blew, which caused power to go out in several different rooms. When the electrician came to work on the problem, I pointed out to him that several of our overhead light fixtures were also not working. He got his ladder and began to try to diagnose the problem. Boy, was I in for a shock!
The electrician noticed that the ballasts had not been properly installed in the light fixtures. In fact, he let me feel one of them and it was almost hot enough to catch on fire! Right then and there I decided that it would be better to spend a little bit of money to fix the electrical issues in the office than it would be to find our building burned to the ground one day! Am I smart or what?!
You know, it is true in life, that when we get painted into a corner, or when we are in a desperate situation, it is at that point that we have to do something about it. Granted, this particular incident was not a crisis situation, but it could have turned into one very easily. I have found that one of life’s great teachers is a difficult situation. It often takes the pressure of something like that before we open our eyes and become creative.
Everyone knows about the small self-stick note papers called Post-It Notes. I would be willing to bet that almost everyone reading this Tip could reach out and touch a Post-It Note within a few feet from where they are at this very moment. Most of us use them and love them. But, did you know that Post-It Notes were never planned to be a product? No one came up with the idea and developed it. It took someone getting desperate before they got creative.
In the 1970’s, a man by the name of Spencer Silver was working for the 3M Research Laboratories, trying to develop a strong adhesive. Mr. Silver developed a new adhesive but, rather than being stronger, it turned out to be weaker than the one the 3M Company already manufactured. It stuck to objects but could easily be lifted off. Instead of being super strong, it was super weak! No one knew what to do with the material, but Mr. Silver did not discard it. He told a few of his friends about it but no one had gotten desperate enough to discover a creative use for it.
Then one Sunday, four years later, another 3M scientist named Arthur Fry, was singing in his church’s choir. He had used slips of paper to mark his place in his hymnal but they kept falling out of the book. He was so desperate that suddenly he became creative. He remembered Silver’s adhesive. Fry used some of the coating on a few of his markers with great success. With the weak adhesive, the markers stayed in place, yet lifted off the pages without damaging them when he wanted to remove them. It was only a matter of time before 3M began distributing Post-It Notes. However, it was not until 1980, ten years after Silver developed the super weak adhesive, that Post-It Notes were found on the shelves in most office supply stores. Today they are one of the most popular office products available in the world.
I love stories like that. They teach me that problems and challenges that come our way are truly just road markers to the next great success story.
Some of you are only inches away from finding your pot of gold at the end of your rainbow. I don’t know of anyone who is getting this Tip who does not deserve to be successful. It could be anyone. Why not you? All you have to do is get desperate enough and then the creative juices will begin to flow. While I would not wish hardship on anyone, I do hope that you get desperate enough to find your creative side and let it take you to places you have never imagined!
Have a great week! God bless you!
Robert Rohm Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.
One night recently my daughter, Elizabeth, was showing me an aquarium full of tadpoles. She had purchased a whole bag full of them for her children (my grandchildren) to watch grow from tadpoles into frogs. It was fun watching all of those little wiggly creatures swimming around in the aquarium! It brought back many fond memories of my own childhood, playing with “critters” down at my grandparent’s house.
I noticed that there was a big rock in the aquarium. When I asked her why she put a rock right in the middle of the tadpoles’ environment, Elizabeth told me an interesting story. I can hardly believe that I have lived almost fifty-nine years without having heard it because it is so good.
Elizabeth said that when she went to the pet store to buy the tadpoles, the gentleman told her to be sure to put a big rock right in the middle of the aquarium. The tadpoles must have this obstacle to give them the incentive to climb up and thus split their little wiggly tails so that their legs can begin to develop. If they have no rock or obstacle to climb up on, they will never turn into frogs. They cannot learn how to hop by just swimming around in water. They must have something causing resistance to give them the incentive to leap forward.
The man went on to tell her that last year a school teacher came back to the store and complained because none of her tadpoles had ever turned into frogs. She had put all of them in an aquarium and let them swim around but they never became frogs. He asked her if she had put a big obstacle, like a rock, in the middle of the aquarium. She said that she had not. She did not know that a tadpole will remain a tadpole unless it faces some obstacle or barrier that forces it to grow. Neither did I, but it makes perfect sense.
So, my daughter was excited to show me all of the tadpoles swimming around the rock. In time, they will begin to try to climb up it and eventually they will make the transformation into a more fully mature creature.
I was amazed and delighted to hear that story. It helped me begin to see, once again, why we have obstacles and barriers in front of us. They are not there to hinder us, but they are there to cause us to grow. It is not so much what the object is in front of each one of us that matters as much as it is our attitude towards it. If we realize that the obstacle we are facing is really a gift that has come our way to help us grow and mature, we will be much more likely to face it in a positive manner.
Since I watched those tadpoles the other night and saw the big rock in their aquarium, I have begun to see the obstacles I face in a different way. Instead of being rocks in my path, those obstacles have become stepping stones to help me leap forward in whatever situation I find myself.
I know that those little tadpoles have no idea what is going on. They just are not that smart. The truth of the matter is, neither are we. Most of us have no idea what is going on in our lives either. We don’t understand that the barriers and obstacles, challenges, difficulties and hard times that come our way each day are actually there for a purpose. There is no way we will have the incentive to grow, or to become better, or to strive harder, if everything in life is just a simple situation. I know the harder I work at anything, the more profitable it is for me, not only financially, but personally, in my own heart and character as well.
So, the next time you see a frog hopping around, smile at him and thank him for the lesson, remembering the struggle he has gone through to get where he is. Perhaps out in the wild somewhere, he faced a difficult rock or barrier in his life, but rather than swimming away from it, he just crawled up on it and began to develop his personal strength until he eventually matured to become the frog that you see hopping around.
Have a great week! God bless you!
Robert Rohm, Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.
We heard it first during what was to be the third lunar landing - “Houston, we have a problem.” That phrase was later made famous in the great movie about that mission, Apollo 13, starring Tom Hanks. It is also used today when people face difficult situations. Often it is said in a light-hearted way to get everyone’s attention. It causes people to stop and realize that something has unexpectedly occurred and that things will have to take a whole new direction.
There is a problem, however, with the word - problem. It carries with it so much negative connotation. A problem is something that carries with it the idea of defeat and despair. Think about it for a moment. Do you enjoy problems? No one wants to have a lot of problems yet most of us have slowly accepted them as daily occurrences in our lives. Well, I have some good news! I give you permission to let all of your problems go right out of the window and never return! Does that sound too good to be true? If so, consider this.
I believe that we can change our perspective to see problems as challenges instead. We can let our challenges cause us to rise to the occasion. Everything great that has ever happened in our world was once a problem that irritated and frustrated someone. That is why it was called a problem. But, when the situation was viewed in a different light, it became a challenge to rise to the occasion to make things better, to change things, to improve things. I think the word challenge brings us to a new position of wanting to be better. It is when we face our challenges and overcome them that we shine the most. A challenge is something that invigorates us and causes us to see things in a new way.
There is a third level, however, that is even better than seeing problems as challenges, and that is when we begin to see things as opportunities. An opportunity is something that everyone looks forward to. You may think about the opportunity you have to win the lottery, or the opportunity to meet that special someone, or the opportunity to see your dreams come true.
Emotionally there is a different “feel” between a problem, a challenge and an opportunity. I believe with all my heart that an opportunity almost causes a feeling of excitement. It causes you to be filled with an air of possibility. It causes you to see the very best that can take place. It is the essence of which dreams are made.
Everything that is in existence in our physical universe was once an idea inside of someone’s mind. At the right time, the idea took on form and shape and substance. It was because someone was looking for an opportunity to better their own life and perhaps the lives of others.
Isn’t it remarkable to think about the science of technology and how computers are a commonplace tool in our daily activity? Yet, all of that was in someone’s mind before it ever became a reality. They saw the opportunity that everyone could make their life better through the use of technology. Opportunity is truly a great thing because it gives all of us hope, but it starts with an idea that transitions from problem, to challenge, to opportunity. The end result is that it moves from someone’s mind where it is intangible to someone’s hands where it becomes tangible and real.
I think it would benefit all of us to work on our mind-set when it comes to problems. The next time you face a difficult situation, just smile and say, “Houston, we have an opportunity.” Watch what happens to those around you. I think you will see a whole different look in their eyes as they turn the situation into something that will be better for everyone involved.
Have a great week! God bless you!
Robert Rohm, Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.
I am sure every one of us has heard the old familiar saying, “Well, all you can do is all you can do!” That is often said as though an individual has exhausted all possibilities and done everything within their power to handle a certain situation. If there is anything I have learned in life, it is the fact that everyone can do a little more. I do not say that to place additional guilt or burden on anyone. I just believe that we need to approach each challenge looking for another way to make progress.
Can you imagine if that attitude had prevailed in the field of medicine one hundred years ago? Even though there was a limited amount of information and technology available at that time, there was still more work to be done and more opportunity to be explored. Someone thought, “We can do this a lot better!”
Think about the field of aviation. There was a time when the fastest known form of transportation was a train. I can just hear someone complaining as they rattled along on a train from city to city, “This is all I can do.” But, someone got dissatisfied with that mode of travel. As a matter of fact, a couple of brothers in Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, decided that “all you can do isn’t all you can do.” They decided they would figure out a way to make transportation faster. Thank you Orville and Wilbur!
What about in your own personal life? What wall have you recently hit that has made you buy into the untrue philosophy that you have done everything possible in your situation? Have you sought council from other friends? Have you searched the internet to find additional information about your current problem, challenge or issue? Have you talked to someone who is older and wiser and asked them how they handled something similar in their life? I think that most of us get lazy when it comes to solving difficult problems. One of the reasons for that is because it is so painful and hurtful to enter into the realm of the unknown. When we do not know what to do in a situation, our mind usually shuts down. Rather than looking for new opportunities and ways to do things, we quickly believe we have exhausted all possibilities before exploring additional options.
In the last couple of years, I have had the opportunity to care for two close relatives until their deaths. While I was still caring for them, I thought I was being a very good caregiver to the people whom I dearly loved. Of course there were times when I got frustrated, but I always told myself, “You are doing all you can do. All you can do is all you can do.” Boy was I wrong!
Through some friends’ advice I called an organization called Hospice. I have never seen or met any group of people like that in my life. Talk about angels! They definitely fit the bill. They came into our home and helped like I had never seen help before. They knew what to do in every situation. When my relatives had to actually go to the hospice facility, more help, more care, and more ideas were offered. There was no end to the love, helpfulness, thoughtfulness, usefulness and compassion shown by that organization. I remember thinking to myself (in an embarrassing way), “Wow, I thought I was doing a lot. I really was not doing very much at all.” My own ignorance was part of the reason for that and some of it was because of the mental block in my head that I was doing all that I could. They quickly taught me otherwise.
As you approach the next challenge in your life that seems very frustrating and gets you down, rather than thinking that you have exhausted all possibilities, ask around and get a fresh perspective on what you are facing. It is one of the biggest blessings you will ever experience in your life to see things that you have not seen before and learn things that you did not previously know. And, in the end, you will be able to do more than you ever thought you could!
Have a great week! God bless you!
Robert Rohm, Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.