The Personality Insights Lounge (blog)

Recently I was reading an article by Colin Powell.  General Powell is the former Secretary of State and he is a retired, four-star general.  Most of us have heard of him and his outstanding military career, as well as his public service to our country.  He was being interviewed and was asked, “What is the best advice you have ever gotten?”  As I read his answer, I thought, “This is great information!  I will have to share it in a Tip.”  This is an excerpt from that article by General Powell:

When I was a young infantry officer at Fort Benning, Georgia, we had a lot of old captains who had served in WWII and Korea.  They were not going to go any higher in rank, but boy, did they know a lot about soldiering.  So, I didn’t learn this piece of barracks wisdom from an Eisenhower or Pershing.  I heard it from these wonderful Reserve captains.  This is the story:

There was a brand new Second Lieutenant who was very ambitious and wanted to be a General.  One night at the Officer’s Club, the young officer spotted this old General sitting at the bar and he went up and said, “How do I become a General?”  And the old General answered, “Son, you’ve got to work like a dog.  You’ve got to have moral and physical courage.  There may be days you’re tired, but you must never show fatigue.  You’ll be afraid, but you can never show fear.  You must always be the leader.”  The young officer was so excited by this advice.  “Thank you, sir,” he said.  “So, this is how I become a General?”  “No,” said the General, “that’s how you become a First Lieutenant, and then you keep doing it over and over.”

Throughout my career I have always tried to do my best today, think about tomorrow, and maybe dream a bit about the future.  But, doing your best in the present has to be the rule.  You won’t become a General unless you become a good First Lieutenant.

I want to publicly thank General Colin Powell for being an outstanding American and for helping us all learn how to grow to the next position, regardless of where we are in life, by relating his own story.

I am looking forward to seeing each of us “move up in rank” as a result of working hard today!

Have a great week! God bless you!

Robert Rohm Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.

If you follow sports, you may have heard of Roger Bannister.  He began his running career when he was a student at Oxford University in 1946.  Prior to that time, he had never actually run on a track.  Back in those days, no one had access to the expert training skills that are offered today.  But, he showed incredible promise in 1947, when he ran a mile in 4 minutes and 24 seconds.  At that time, he had only been training for three weeks!  He was selected as an Olympic possible in 1948, but he did not feel ready for that level of competition.  However, he did attend the Olympics in 1948 and set his eyes on the 1952 games which were to be held in Helsinki. 
 
He continued to train over the next years and saw great improvement.  By 1950, he was running the mile in 4 minutes and 13 seconds.  As time passed, he trained harder and more seriously.  In December of 1951 at the Penn relays, he ran the mile at a rate of 4 minutes and 7 seconds.  Forty-seven thousand people were in the stands cheering him on and with their encouragement, he felt that he could break the barrier.
 
Over the years, there had been many speculations about the possibility of the 4 minute mile.  Some believed that it was impossible, claiming that a runner’s heart would explode if they tried.  Roger Bannister, who later became a medical doctor, stated that many of the propagated myths had been created by sports writers who wanted to profit from the stories.  The world record had been 4 minutes and 1.4 seconds for over nine years.  However, Bannister still thought that the 4 minute mile barrier could be broken and on May 6, 1954, at the Iffley Road track in Oxford, Roger Bannister broke the record. 
 
I wanted to give that background to honor his achievement, but that really is not the purpose of this Tip.  The fact of the matter is that, although Roger Bannister broke a record that had been held for over 9 years, the more amazing thing to me is what happened afterwards.  Forty-six days later, on June 21, Bannister’s record was broken by John Landy, of Australia.  He broke the record by almost 2 seconds! 
 
In the days ahead, Bannister and Landy met and raced each other.  Although Landy led in the beginning, he made a fatal mistake towards the end of the race by looking back over his left shoulder to see where Bannister was and Roger Bannister ran past him to win the contest.  That was a costly mistake which would serve to remind us that we all should keep our eyes on the goal and prize ahead of us, rather than on what might be going on around us.  But, that is still not the purpose of this Tip!
 
I suppose by now you are wondering, “Well, Dr. Rohm, what IS the purpose of this Tip?!”  The point is this; barriers can be broken! 
 
Since the time that particular barrier was broken, there have been runners all over the world who have run the mile in less than 4 minutes.  As a matter of fact, there are children in junior high school who have done it!  What was once thought of as an impossible barrier by the greatest runner in the world has now been surpassed even by junior high kids.  I find that to be remarkable! 
 
What I want you to get from this Tip is that often barriers exist only in our mind.  What is a barrier to me may not be a barrier to you at all.  The things that hinder me in my life may seem very simple to you.  I may let things bother me that are very insignificant.  You may run right past them; and in record time.  Barriers can be broken!
 
I will always be amazed that what was once thought to be impossible is now something that has been accomplished by junior high school kids all over the world.  Isn’t that startling?  Their attitude is just, “Go ahead and do the best you can and see what happens.”  (By the way, I think that is the approach we all should take.)  It worked for Roger Bannister in his life; it works for junior high school kids today; and it will work for all of us, too.  Go ahead, do the best you can and see what happens!

Have you ever considered the fact that just a little more effort in almost any given situation will create better results? Being willing to go the second mile in anything you do is a habit that can be formed, but it will only start when you realize the benefits that will come when you have the “slight edge” philosophy.

Think about a horse that wins the race by only a nose. For the purpose of this example, let’s say that the prize he wins is a million dollars. Generally the horse that comes in second place finishes only a few inches behind the winner, but the prize is significantly less. Let’s say that the prize for second place is one hundred thousand dollars. Even though the money was ten times as much, did the horse that won the race finish ten times ahead of the horse that was in second place? Of course not, but even though the winning margin is small, the difference in their payoff is huge.

Think about the game of professional baseball. If you go up to bat and consistently only hit two out of ten times, you probably will not stay on the team. They will either cut you or trade you. However, if you can solidly hit three out of ten times, you will not only make the All Star team, you will probably be in the Hall of Fame.

Consider one more illustration. In the game of golf, how many times have we seen the fact that one stroke makes the difference between first and second place? It is not very exciting when a golf match is won by fifteen strokes. However, when it comes down to a neck and neck game, usually one player will be the winner by only one stroke. See, it really is the slight edge that gives him or her victory.

What is the slight edge philosophy in your life? Maybe it is something as simple as walking out to the loading dock to make sure that a shipment actually went out to your client. Perhaps it is calling that customer to see if there is anything you can do to help them. It may be nothing more than sending a birthday card or a thank you note. Whatever the “slight edge” action you take, it will ultimately make a huge difference.

It is not about working harder. It is really about working smarter. Your returns do not necessarily multiply because you work harder; they multiply exponentially because you have the slight edge. Again, the difference between first and second place is huge. Hardly ever is it simply twice as much. It is usually five or ten times more and, as previously stated, the difference comes because of only a few inches in the horse race, one more baseball hit, or one less stroke in golf.

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to see two of my best friends from high school. One of them, David Gentry, shared with me this slight edge philosophy that he has tried to use in his own life and business. I realized that if we had known about this when we first started out in our careers, it would have profited us a great deal; not because we were better or smarter than anyone else, but because we were willing to go the second mile and try to make whatever situation we were involved in a little better.

Wherever you are in your life, I would suggest that you apply this wonderful truth and watch the results grow exponentially in whatever you are doing. It is not only the best way to run a business and build relationships with others; it is really the best way to do life. Anyone who has worked smart and experienced success would surely agree.

Have a great week! God bless you!

Robert Rohm Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.

Recently a friend of mine sent me an e-mail with a great story in it.  It is so powerful that I want to pass it along to you.  I have already used the story on several occasions and have found it to be very touching.  I hope you will as well.

There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live.  So, as she was getting her things in order, she contacted her pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes.  She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in.

Everything was in order and the pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her.

“There’s one more thing,” she said excitedly.

“What’s that?” came the pastor’s reply.

“This is very important,” the young woman continued.  “I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand.”

The pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to say.

“That surprises you, doesn’t it?” the young woman asked.

“Well, to be honest, I’m puzzled by the request,” said the pastor.

The young woman explained.  “My grandmother once told me this story, and from that time on, I have always tried to pass along its message to those I love and those who are in need of encouragement.  ‘In all my years of attending socials and dinners, I always remember that when the dishes were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, “Keep your fork.”  It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming..like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie.  Something wonderful and with substance!’

“So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder, What’s with the fork?  Then I want you to tell them:  ‘Keep your fork.  The best is yet to come!’ ”

The pastor’s eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the young woman and said good-bye.  He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death.  But, he also knew that the young woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did.  She had a better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people twice her age, with twice as much experience and knowledge.  She KNEW that something better was coming.

At the funeral, people were walking by the young woman’s casket and they saw the cloak she was wearing and the fork placed in her right hand.  Over and over, the pastor heard the question, “What’s with the fork?” and over and over he smiled.

During his message, the pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the young woman shortly before she died.  He also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her.  He told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either.

He was right.  So, the next time you reach down for your fork; let it remind you, ever so gently, that the best is yet to come.

Friends are very rare jewels, indeed.  They make you smile and encourage you to succeed.  Cherish the time you have, and the memories you share.  Being friends with someone is not an opportunity but a sweet responsibility.  That is why it is important to do all you can on a daily basis to let other people know what they mean to your life.

Isn’t that a great story?  In the past two or three years I have been to the funerals of some family members and very dear friends.  I do not know how much longer I have on this earth, but I have already instructed my family to put a fork in my hand when I am in my casket.  I suspect you are thinking the same thing for yourself!  I hope you are!

Have a great week!  God bless you!

Robert Rohm, Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.

So many of you have responded to us throughout the year by telling us how much these Tips mean to you.  While we do not do it in order to get a response, we are touched when someone takes the time to tell us that these Tips have made an impact and a difference in their life. 

Most of us are busy getting ready for Christmas.  Regardless of a person’s religious affiliation, the end of December brings a lot of excitement and generosity towards others.  It is a special time of the year when hearts are filled with love for family and friends.  It is also a season for gift giving.  Just as your encouragement has been a gift to us throughout the year, I want to suggest that this year you give your best Christmas gift ever to someone special.  What might that be?  Words.  Let me explain.

You have heard me use Proverbs 18:21 before, which tells us that life and death are in the power of our words.  When we speak to another person, we are either speaking life or death into them.  Stop and think for a minute.  Would you agree that before this day ends you could say something to your husband, wife, or significant other that could upset them?  Well, if you believe that you could do that, you must also believe that you could say something that would make things better.  It really does boil down to the power of our words.

I have noticed that when I take the time to correctly phrase what I am saying to another person, it usually puts a smile on their face and a lift in their step.  In short, it makes their day!  Recently, I was in a restaurant and as I was leaving, I asked if I could speak to the manager.  The server asked me if everything was okay.  I assured her that it was but that I needed to speak to the manager.  When the manager came to the table, I could tell that he was very nervous.  I suppose he was bracing himself for the tongue lashing he expected.  Boy, was he surprised (and relieved) when I said to him, “I love coming to this restaurant.  The food always tastes delicious, everyone has a great attitude and the service is wonderful.  I look forward to coming back soon.”  He honestly did not know what to do.  His eyes filled with tears as he said, “Thank you so much!”  You see, I had spoken life into him with my words. 

If you want to say something to someone, take a few minutes to think it through and actually write out what you want to say.  Share with them from your heart the fact that you appreciate or love them more than they realize.  Let them know that you would like to give them a gift.  Tell them, “The gift I want to give you is the gift of my words.”  Then, proceed to give them the words that will speak life and blessing into their heart.  If you write it out, read it to them, then give them what you wrote.  They will save it forever.

This Christmas, make the choice to be a blessing to a co-worker, a family member or a friend and let them know, by your words, how much they mean to you.  It will be the best Christmas gift they receive.  When you make it a point to speak words of life, the fruit that you see and the blessing the other person experiences, will be well worth your efforts.

Have a great week!  God bless you!

Robert Rohm, Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.