The Personality Insights Lounge (blog)

Do you know someone who is great at what they do? Regardless of whether they are a skilled surgeon, a typist, or musician, or speaker, or any other kind of professional, I can guarantee you there was a time when they knew absolutely nothing about what they are now so great at doing. I can also guarantee you that when they first began their career, they made mistakes. They stumbled along and probably made a fool out of themselves on more than one occasion. That is because they did not know how to do the very task that they have become so proficient in doing. Although they now look like a master, more than likely, they were once a disaster.

When people do not know how to do something, they have to have a starting point. No one starts at the end of the process. Rather, they start at the beginning. When a person first learns to ride a bicycle, they do not start by racing in the Tour de France. They usually start by riding a tricycle before they move to a bike. Even when they begin to ride the bicycle, they typically fall off several times until they get the hang of how to do it and learn how to keep their balance.

I am amazed at the tricks that some of these young kids do with bicycles in competitions. I have seen them jump off of ramps, do flips, completely dismount in mid-air and then get back on, before landing safely on both wheels. I never even thought about doing something like that when I was a kid! I was just happy when my bicycle would work so that I could deliver all my papers on my paper route. The only flip I ever experienced on my bicycle was when I flipped over because the front of it was too heavy with all of my newspapers!

The famous motivational speaker, Zig Ziglar, often says, “Anything in life worth doing at all is worth doing poorly - until you can learn how to do it well.” Zig uses that as an example of how everyone has to start from a place of incompetence until they learn to be competent. That process takes place through trial and error. I can assure you that whether it is building houses, sewing clothes, painting a picture, styling someone’s hair, or playing golf, each professional has to go through the pain of seeing their work fail miserably until they get good at what they are now doing.

This week, look at your profession and your life through a different set of eyes. Cut yourself some slack. Realize that you may be in the process of learning how to do what you do better. It is through that process that you will get good (and maybe even great) at what you are doing. When you finally do become a master at your particular trade, you will be the first one to stand up and give testimony to the fact that you were once a disaster at what everyone thinks comes so naturally and easily to you. You will be able to encourage others by telling them the “horror” stories of the mistakes you made in your own life as you were developing the skill that you now possess.

I don’t know about you, but thoughts like this really encourage me. They help me to keep trying and give me hope that the future can be better than the past. Life truly is a journey and we should be learning all that we can as we travel along life’s road.

I know that whatever it is that you love to do, you will become a master at it in time. Just keep doing it. Don’t give up or quit! You deserve to be a master yourself. It simply takes time, and you are on your way!

Have a great week! God bless you!

Robert Rohm Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.

Recently I was watching a television program when all of a sudden an ad for an upcoming movie starring Sylvester Stallone appeared. As it showed the highlights of his latest film, it also showed clips from all of his past movies. There were brief clips from all five of the Rocky movies, all of his Rambo movies, and many of the other films in which he had had a leading role. At the end of the ad a quote appeared on the screen that said, “I am a manifestation of my own imagination!” - Sylvester Stallone.

As I read that, I realized how true that statement is. Sylvester Stallone invented all of the characters that he played. He created them in his own mind and imagination. Then he went about following his dreams and became the manifestation of the things he had thought he could accomplish.

You may already be aware that I am a huge fan of the Rocky and Rambo movies. Those characters are infamous! Anyone who has seen those movies would immediately identify with the strength and power the characters displayed.

Rocky was the fighter who kept getting beaten up, in the ring, and in life. Yet, he kept coming back, over and over until he eventually became the champion.

Just before the final Rocky movie, Rocky Balboa, was released, I remember thinking that Stallone had gotten too old to play that part again. But, even in previews for that final movie, he disarmed everyone’s negative thoughts right up front by addressing the issue himself. The previews showed him commenting that he was too old to think about boxing again. However, they also showed him realizing that boxing was still in his blood and that he had to get in the ring one more time. Because the audience was disarmed by Rocky’s own comments, the movie was a huge success. And, in my opinion, perhaps it was the best of the entire series.

Then there was Rambo - another character who took beating after beating and faced so many challenges that it was beyond anyone’s ability to imagine the amount of hurt and pain he endured in his life. Yet, he never gave up. He just kept coming back until he fulfilled his destiny.

We are all unique individuals with different dreams and imaginations. What are the imaginations that are still in your heart that have never been fulfilled? What are some of the dreams and goals that could still be manifested in your life if you simply focused, or worked a little harder, or worked a little longer?

I realize that the older you get, the harder it is to complete and fulfill some of the dreams you had earlier in life, but, it’s just like Yogi Berra, the great baseball player once said, “Hard work ain’t easy!”

We only get to go through life once, so I would like to be a cheerleader on your team, encouraging you to do everything in your power to bring about the manifestation of your thoughts, dreams, and imagination. If you only had one wish and you could see it fulfilled, what would that one wish be? It all starts in your own imagination. I believe with all my heart that prayer is a great way of expressing to God that desire. He will help you fulfill those dreams and imaginations. After all, who put those dreams in your heart in the first place? And, who might want to birth them in your life in the future? Those are questions worth considering.

I don’t know about you, but my mind is always “churning” on something. My imagination wanders around the globe several times every day. While my aspirations and dreams do not involve making movies, I do have dreams that I want to see fulfilled in my life, and thanks to Sylvester Stallone, I realize that they start in my own imagination. They can be worked out through my life as I learn and grow on a daily basis.

Fairy tales can come true - they can happen to you, through your imagination and efforts!

Have a great week! God bless you!

Robert Rohm Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.

A couple of weeks ago, I did a Tip about the Lone Ranger. I talked about how much I admired the delicate balance he demonstrated between having an ego that was big enough to make him believe he could impact his world for good, yet having a heart of humility and compassion, which he displayed at the same time. In the article, I mentioned the Lone Ranger’s Indian side-kick, whose name was Tonto and his palomino horse, Scout.

After reading the Tip, a friend contacted me to let me know that Scout was, in fact, not a palomino, but rather a paint breed of horse instead. I was told that I may have gotten Tonto’s horse mixed up with Roy Roger’s horse, Trigger, who actually was a palomino. I went online and Googled Indian paint horses and boy, was I surprised at how wrong I had been! I told my friend how much I appreciated his wisdom and insight in helping to straighten out my thinking. Although I dislike being wrong, I certainly do love it when I find out what is right and get my information straight.

You may think that this is no big deal, and you are correct. That was an honest mistake. However, being willing to accept correction is the heart of this Tip. When you get your facts straight and your information right, it really does make everything better. It causes other people to trust you more and it puts you in a position to learn to be more accurate in the future. The challenge comes, when we are unwilling to receive correction. No one really enjoys being corrected, but, there is so much value in it. I do not believe it is wise to pass it up.

Now, I realize that it would be easier to receive if everyone could give correction in a discreet, uplifting, encouraging, and helpful manner. But, you really can’t control other people. You cannot make them correct you in a way that is acceptable to you. Nevertheless, I have found that it is much wiser to take the correction, regardless of how it is given. It is better to focus on receiving the correction than on the way the other person gives it. Whoever is willing to receive correction will attract more wisdom in his or her personal life.

Proverbs 9:8 says, “Do not correct a mocker or he will hate you. Correct a wise man and he will love you.” Isn’t it interesting to note that in both cases, the words of correction are the same? The only thing that is different is the response of the listener. The wise person will be grateful for the correction, whereas a fool will simply demonstrate anger, bitterness and hatred toward the person doing the correcting.

I realize this is a touchy subject. I have talked to people about it over the years and found that it is a major cause of hurt feelings and division. That is very unfortunate. We would all be much better off to simply respond to correction in a mature and professional manner.

One additional thought: You also must realize that the other person is actually taking a chance when they try to correct you. You will not meet many people who even care enough to try and help you become a better, more informed person. Most people will not say anything because they don’t care that much about your personal growth. Therefore, it is in your best interest to just receive the correction.

I am glad that I now know that Tonto rode a paint horse by the name of Scout. It may not be the most important information I possess, but, at least I have gotten it straight. I am grateful for any correction I ever get because, in the end, it only makes me a better person.

I hope you will open your eyes to this great truth and learn to receive any correction given. You will become a better person for it!

Have a great week! God bless you!

Robert Rohm Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.

Nature teaches us so many wonderful truths. Some of them are easy to accept, while others are more difficult to grasp. I believe one of the greatest challenges I have ever experienced in my own personal life is being willing to accept the fact that genuine, solid growth is slow. Fast growth is always more comfortable to me! I think almost everyone would agree that it seems logical to want to see our lives grow quickly, so that we feel as though we are making progress rather than going nowhere.

Sometimes, however, the feeling of going nowhere is very necessary. Think about it for just a minute. In the springtime, when the leaves begin to open on the trees, we know that it is time for them to bring forth new life. But, what has been taking place over the winter months? You guessed it - slow growth. And, the growth has not primarily been upwards toward the sky; it has been downward, deep in the earth. It is during the cold winter months, as the trees search for nourishment, that the roots go down deepest. Yet, at the same time, the tree is getting stronger because it is developing a deep root system that will sustain it during the coming months and years. The slow growth that takes place in the winter gives a tree the strength it will need to face the storms and strong winds that will surely come in the spring and summer months.

Here in Georgia, there are basically two kinds of trees: pines and oaks. Every time there is a storm in the spring, you can look around and see the pines scattered all over the ground. They snap in the strong winds because they are so flimsy. Often, people will go to great lengths and expense to have pine trees removed from their property so that they do not fall on their houses in times of storm.

The other kind of tree here is the big oak. It usually withstands all sorts of storms because it is so strong. It takes much longer to grow an oak tree than it does a pine. Every time I look at the majestic oak, I think, “That is what I want to be like.”

But the tree illustration is not limited to pines and oaks. There are other trees that teach us this great truth about slow growth as well, and none is more important than the Chinese bamboo.

Seeds for the Chinese bamboo tree are planted in a wet marsh land and fertilized. Then they are left alone. During the second year, the bamboo is fertilized again, even though no apparent growth has taken place. During the third and fourth years more fertilizer is applied to the bamboo, but to the casual observer it seems to be a hopeless task. Nothing seems to be happening at all. Then in the fifth year, suddenly something does happen! Because there has been so much care given to the bamboo, it comes out of the ground and begins to grow. Before the season is over it will grow 90 feet!

Now, here’s the question: “Did the Chinese bamboo grow 90 feet in the fifth year? Or, did it grow 90 feet in five years? I think you get the point. The growth would never have occurred without all of the seed planting, nourishment, fertilizer, sunshine, and water during those five years. It looks like the rapid growth only occurred in that fifth year, but the person who planted the seeds for the Chinese bamboo and cared for them during those five years can tell you otherwise. It is a SLOW process!

Let me encourage you to look at the slow growth process in your own life in this new way. It is necessary if you want your roots to go deeper. It is necessary if you want to grow stronger and become more fruitful.

It has been quite an adjustment for me to re-think this concept, but I have found it to be a very helpful truth in my own personal life and I am sure you will find it helpful to you as well.

Have a great week! God bless you!

Robert Rohm Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.