Archives for January, 2009
Recently I got a great email from my good friend, Tommy Thompson. He is the father of the man who married my daughter. We are both father-in-laws to each other’s children. Since we are still at the beginning of a brand new year, I wanted to pass it along to you. I have received many lists like this before but, this is a brand new one. I don’t know if you have seen it yet or not, but I promise you it is a good one.
1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day - preferably in the morning and feel your feelings.
3. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.
4. When you wake up in the morning, complete the following statement, “My purpose is to _________ today.”
5. Live with the 3 E’s - Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
6. Play more games and read more books than you did last year.
7. Make time to practice meditation and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds and walnuts.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new positive energy into your life.
14. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip or issues of the past, negative thought, or things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.
15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like Algebra class, but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the NEGATIVE BLUES away.
18. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
23. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years, will this matter?’
26. Forgive everyone for everything.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
28. REMEMBER GOD heals everything.
29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
30. You job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
31. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
33. The best is yet to come.
34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.
35. Do the right thing!
36. Call your family often.
37. Each night before you go to bed, complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _____________.
38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don’t want a fast pass! You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.
40. Send this to everyone you care about. I just did.
And, here are a couple of bonuses:
The only reason to be alive is to enjoy it. Happiness is a journey, not a destination!
“If you need help, ask God. If you don’t, thank God!”
Isn’t that a great list? As I read through it, I couldn’t help but think that I would love to write an expanded Tip on each one of those forty points. Who knows? Maybe I will!
For now, begin to apply as many as possible on a daily basis. I have already been doing this and have found it to be a great help. I am sure that it will be beneficial to you as well.
Have a great week! God bless you!
Robert Rohm Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.
When I was a child growing up, I could not wait for Saturday mornings so that I could watch the Lone Ranger. Everything about him thrilled me! Here was a man’s man. He rode a white stallion by the name of Silver, wore a mask that protected his mysterious identity, and was often misunderstood by law-abiding people. He had a side-kick by the name of Tonto, who had a beautiful palomino horse by the name of Scout. The Lone Ranger even had special bullets on his gun holster that were made out of pure silver. He was THE MAN!
I suppose the thing I liked so much about the Lone Ranger was the fact that he was such an unusual character. On one hand, he must have had a huge ego. I mean, think about it. Who would dress in solid white and wear a black mask, ride a white horse, have silver bullets on his gun holster, and have a side-kick always there to protect and help him when he needed it? He fought for law and order and had a personal goal to single-handedly help get the Wild West under control. There was no doubt about it - he was on a mission!
Yet, on the other hand, he was a humble servant. He never made a big deal out of who he was. He always showed up just in the knick of time to help everyone out of trouble. Then, ironically enough, he would leave early, before anyone could thank him for the wonderful job he had done. He knew how to solve problems, but he did not want to be in the lime-light for his great deeds. He just got the job done and then rode off in a cloud of dust, with the speed of light, and a hardy, “Hi-Yo, Silver!” I guess you can tell I was really smitten by the Lone Ranger and everything he represented.
Since I have grown up, I realize that the very qualities that caused me to like him so much are ones that we should all possess. If a person is going to do anything in life, he must have enough of an ego to propel him into believing he can actually make a difference in this world. I once heard the saying, “I am only one person, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And, by God’s grace, I will do what I can to make a difference!” That was what the Lone Ranger was all about. He embodied that truth more than anyone else I have ever known.
Yet, all of us should also emulate the Lone Ranger’s deep sense of humility, which was complimented by a servant’s heart. He never really wanted anything for himself. There was no prideful arrogance about him. He only wanted to do good and to help others. He was not looking for any personal glory, wonderful accolades, or pay of any sort. He just wanted to help! What an attitude! What a heart! What a man!
I am not sure how to keep that balance in my life all of the time, but I do know that it is a worthy target. Wouldn’t you agree?
Let me encourage each of us to be more like the Lone Ranger. Ego, with humility is an incredible combination. Very few can find that unique balance. He was a hero who left an example that we all can follow.
Hi-Yo Silver! Away-y-y!
Have a great week! God bless you!
Robert Rohm Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.
Have you ever had a situation that you did not know exactly how to handle? Those times are usually extremely difficult and stressful. Typically the problem itself is not the biggest challenge that we face. The real stress comes from not knowing what to do about the problem. Such a situation happened in my family many years ago.
When my daughter, Esther, was just learning to walk, I noticed that she seemed to be extremely pigeon-toed. I hoped that she would grow out of it but as the months passed, it did not seem to get any better. I felt very concerned and afraid because I had heard many horror stories about children who had to wear leg braces for months, or even years, until their legs were straightened. I was concerned about the problem, but not knowing what to do about it concerned me even more!
We finally took Esther to Dr. Leila Denmark. She has the reputation of being one of the wisest pediatricians who has ever lived. Being around her and listening to her talk is like listening to a female Solomon! There is just no one else like her. Anyway, Dr. Denmark took one look at Esther’s legs and said, “You need to put this child on roller skates!” I had not taken her to the doctor to be told to take her out for a fun time with her dad. I wanted to find out what to do about her legs! Dr. Denmark must have read my mind because she said, “Roller skates are the greatest device known to mankind to help children have straight legs.” She continued, “The weight of the skates pulls the legs downward and makes the muscles form in the right direction. Then the repetition of pushing the legs with the heavy skates on will cause her legs to get straighter and straighter each day. I have seen this many times before and roller skates are the answer!” Then she went on about her business like it was no big deal.
I remember feeling a little frustrated because I just could not believe it was that simple. There had to be more to it than just roller skates! That did not sound like much of a medical solution to what I considered a serious problem.
We purchased some roller skates for Esther and, even though she was a very little girl, she started skating. She skated all day long. She skated in the house on the carpet, outside on the carport, in the alley, on the sidewalk, and sometimes even in the street. In fact, she has on a pair of roller skates in just about every family picture we took from the time she was about two years old until she was ten. We got so used to seeing her in roller skates that it just became “normal”. All of our other children would put on socks and shoes and Esther would put on socks and roller skates! She skated all summer long and then during the school year, she would come home and skate in the afternoon. She never realized that she was “in traction” for the purpose of straightening her legs. Within a matter of months, her legs began to straighten out and now her legs are perfect and healthy in every way.
You see what I mean? What was a huge problem to me was not much of a problem at all to someone who had the wisdom to know what to do about it. We can talk about our problems until we are blue in the face but just talking about them really does no good. What makes a major difference is when we talk to someone who has the wisdom to know what to do about our problem, challenge, or situation.
I don’t know what new challenges you will be facing this year, but I can assure you that there are many people who are available to help you. They can share from their own personal experience what they have learned in order to help you in the situation or circumstances in which you now find yourself. I would encourage you to do everything in your power to search out those people and keep them close. They will be the ones who can give you the guidance you need when it comes time to make a tough decision.
I know that everyone is willing to give you their advice or opinion, but that is not what I am talking about here. I am talking about someone who has wisdom learned from personal experience that has brought about success in their own life or in the lives of others. That is what you should pursue with all of your heart. It will reward you handsomely and make life better for you in every way possible.
Have a great week! God bless you!
Robert Rohm Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.
Well, here we are at the beginning of a brand new year. I love opportunities to start over! Life and the universe are designed to give us many fresh starts. Every morning the sun comes up to give us a new day. Each new month offers us a chance to start all over again. And, of course, at the end of each year we complete, the calendar rolls forward to hopefully award us 365 new days.
Although this is a great concept on paper, it can be difficult to accept in reality. I know I am guilty of sometimes living in the past. During my senior year of high school, I think we only lost one football game all year but I have re-lived that loss many, many times. Since it happened over forty-two years ago, it might be time to let it go! I think I have done that to some degree, but I must confess that occasionally it comes back to haunt me. Some of the people who were on my high school team have since passed away, so I guess it would be safe to say that the rest of us who are still living have a right to let that go and start over, while remembering all the wonderful victories!
I know that may not be much of an example, but I am confident that everyone who is reading this Tip has something in their life that they regret. Each one of us would love a “do-over” concerning a relationship, a business, an investment, or perhaps some other decision that we made. I don’t know about you, but I am going to accept the fact that I am a human being and I make mistakes. I also believe, with all my heart, that God is gracious and forgives us and allows us to learn from our mistakes. We should not live under condemnation, but rather under forgiveness, freedom and peace. That is not to say that we should deliberately do something wrong with the attitude that we can seek forgiveness about our actions later. There is a popular phrase that has been around for years that says, “It would be easier to get forgiveness than it will be to get permission.” Although that may be humorous, it really can be deadly. Having that philosophy will cause us to step out and do things that we truly believe are wrong at the outset but hope somehow that the consequences will magically disappear. They usually don’t.
Contrast that to the attitude of, “What I am about to do, I am doing with wisdom, counsel, good sense, and experience and I am expecting to have a healthy, happy, productive outcome.” If that is your attitude and a mistake is made, I can assure you that you have the right to learn from that mistake and start over from there.
I am grateful for everything that has happened in my life - the good, the bad, and the ugly. Everything that has happened has made me the person I am today. And although I certainly am not perfect, I can see how my mistakes have put me in a position to be a much healthier and wiser person than I ever could have been had I stayed defeated or stuck in my failures. I love to begin again. It seems as though I do a lot of things over. Sometimes I think I am the “do-over king.” But, when I focus on beginning again, it feels like I am moving forward. I am no longer stuck at do-over. If that is the case, then the purpose of what has happened to me has been to “bring to pass” the things of the past in order that there might be life, wellness and wholeness in the future.
It does no good to stay stuck. It does no good to beat ourselves up forever. How long will we continue to grieve about something that happened in the past over which we now have absolutely no control? It is time for a new beginning!
I trust that this coming year will be the best year of your life. I hope that you will start fresh, let go of the things that have hurt you or defeated you in the past, and begin again to build your life, your family, your finances, your health, and your future in a way that will bring the most amount of good to yourself and to those around you. I know that is going to be my focus and my goal.
Remember, nothing changes if nothing changes! What needs changing in your life this year? Your New Year’s resolution can lead to a New Year’s revolution! So, again I ask, what needs changing? I am asking you to join me as we begin a new year together. Let go of the past and start over. Have the kind of life that you will be glad you lived!
Have a great week! God bless you!
Robert Rohm Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.