Well, here we are at the beginning of a brand new year. I love opportunities to start over! Life and the universe are designed to give us many fresh starts. Every morning the sun comes up to give us a new day. Each new month offers us a chance to start all over again. And, of course, at the end of each year we complete, the calendar rolls forward to hopefully award us 365 new days.
Although this is a great concept on paper, it can be difficult to accept in reality. I know I am guilty of sometimes living in the past. During my senior year of high school, I think we only lost one football game all year but I have re-lived that loss many, many times. Since it happened over forty-two years ago, it might be time to let it go! I think I have done that to some degree, but I must confess that occasionally it comes back to haunt me. Some of the people who were on my high school team have since passed away, so I guess it would be safe to say that the rest of us who are still living have a right to let that go and start over, while remembering all the wonderful victories!
I know that may not be much of an example, but I am confident that everyone who is reading this Tip has something in their life that they regret. Each one of us would love a “do-over” concerning a relationship, a business, an investment, or perhaps some other decision that we made. I don’t know about you, but I am going to accept the fact that I am a human being and I make mistakes. I also believe, with all my heart, that God is gracious and forgives us and allows us to learn from our mistakes. We should not live under condemnation, but rather under forgiveness, freedom and peace. That is not to say that we should deliberately do something wrong with the attitude that we can seek forgiveness about our actions later. There is a popular phrase that has been around for years that says, “It would be easier to get forgiveness than it will be to get permission.” Although that may be humorous, it really can be deadly. Having that philosophy will cause us to step out and do things that we truly believe are wrong at the outset but hope somehow that the consequences will magically disappear. They usually don’t.
Contrast that to the attitude of, “What I am about to do, I am doing with wisdom, counsel, good sense, and experience and I am expecting to have a healthy, happy, productive outcome.” If that is your attitude and a mistake is made, I can assure you that you have the right to learn from that mistake and start over from there.
I am grateful for everything that has happened in my life - the good, the bad, and the ugly. Everything that has happened has made me the person I am today. And although I certainly am not perfect, I can see how my mistakes have put me in a position to be a much healthier and wiser person than I ever could have been had I stayed defeated or stuck in my failures. I love to begin again. It seems as though I do a lot of things over. Sometimes I think I am the “do-over king.” But, when I focus on beginning again, it feels like I am moving forward. I am no longer stuck at do-over. If that is the case, then the purpose of what has happened to me has been to “bring to pass” the things of the past in order that there might be life, wellness and wholeness in the future.
It does no good to stay stuck. It does no good to beat ourselves up forever. How long will we continue to grieve about something that happened in the past over which we now have absolutely no control? It is time for a new beginning!
I trust that this coming year will be the best year of your life. I hope that you will start fresh, let go of the things that have hurt you or defeated you in the past, and begin again to build your life, your family, your finances, your health, and your future in a way that will bring the most amount of good to yourself and to those around you. I know that is going to be my focus and my goal.
Remember, nothing changes if nothing changes! What needs changing in your life this year? Your New Year’s resolution can lead to a New Year’s revolution! So, again I ask, what needs changing? I am asking you to join me as we begin a new year together. Let go of the past and start over. Have the kind of life that you will be glad you lived!
Have a great week! God bless you!
Robert Rohm Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.
Almost everyone in the world has heard of Michael Jordan. He is probably one of the greatest basketball players who ever lived. But, did you know that he was cut from his high school basketball team when he was in the tenth grade because he was not good enough to make the team? I find that to be ironic! The man who turned out to be one of the five best professional basketball players of all-time had an occasion in his younger days when he could not even make the team!
I realize that we typically grow to become better at what we are doing as we get older. Perhaps at fifteen, Michael Jordan had not yet begun to mature and “come into his own” as a basketball player. It took a little more time for him to develop and mature in his personal basketball skills. I think it would be safe to say that, in time, he certainly did mature and went on to dazzle most of us with his athletic ability.
Michael Jordan was the one who made the quote famous, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” I wonder if that philosophy was rooted in him very early on in life when he realized how painful it was not to try and risk failing? He knew, from first-hand experience that it was better to try and fail than not try at all. Perhaps the pain and hurt he experienced when he was cut from his high school basketball team was the very fuel he needed to work harder and try out for the team again his junior year. He was not a quitter. He was one who wanted to experience the “thrill of victory” even if it cost him “the agony of defeat.”
I do not like pain in my life any more than you do. Which one of us would be so foolish as to say, “I think I will do something that will really hurt me?” Yet, without trying to do new and better things, we are destined to miss that shot, whether that is in life or business. The old saying is really true, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again!” If we are willing to take a risk, even if it costs us failure, we can still look at the situation as a learning experience that will help us grow and mature to the next level of life. Then we can honestly say that we are better off for having tried rather than sitting back and not being willing to take the risk. I know in my own life that the chances that I have taken have caused me the greatest amount of personal growth.
A couple of years ago, I got involved in the real estate market, on the side. I had been reading books that basically told me that real estate investment was the only way to have real financial success in life. (I can almost see you smiling as you read that.) Since that time the entire real estate market has collapsed and all I can say is that I am glad I was not in any deeper than I was! It turns out that most of the real estate market seminars that I attended were actually promoting more seminars rather than real estate. But, even through all that, I met two of the finest men I have ever met in my life. They have become dear friends who have helped me personally and professionally in my business. Our paths would not have crossed if I had not been willing to take the “shot” of getting involved in real estate. I have since retired from real estate investing, though I still have some holdings. However, I can assure you that it is not something to which I want to devote any more of my time. I have been called to develop, grow and work with my own company, Personality Insights, and that is going to be my focus to the very end of my life!
I encourage you not to feel bad for the mistakes you have made in your life. Just ask yourself what you have learned from them and let them make you a better person. Getting involved in life is risky business, but it is worth the risk!
Have a great week! God bless you!
Robert Rohm Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.
Here we are again at Christmas! It is the time of the year when we are all buying gifts and hopefully thinking about others. It is such a wonderful time of the year because we have the opportunity to demonstrate love towards family members and friends. I have never met anyone who did not like Christmas. I am sure that they are out there somewhere, but so far I have been able to avoid them. What in the world could be wrong with caring for other people and going out of your way to buy them a present or do something nice for them during this special time of the year?
When I think about Christmas, I am reminded of its true meaning. All of us know that we recognize Christmas as the birthday of Jesus.
A couple of years ago, I watched the movie called, The Nativity. It has been done with a lot of historical research in order to give us a good understanding of what it must have been like during the first century. As you know, life was extremely difficult and people experienced many hardships. I have often been very thankful that I did not live during hard times like those. I prefer running water, electricity, air conditioning and airplanes over things like traveling on a donkey and drawing water from a well. But, that is another story.
I hope you will bear with me for just a moment. There really is a good point to this Tip, but you have to wait until the end to get it! One thing that amazes me is that nowhere in the Bible are we ever told to celebrate the birth of Jesus. Now, don’t get me wrong, as I mentioned earlier, I love Christmas and I am grateful for it, but the Bible does not put that much emphasis on His entrance into this world. Nowhere are we instructed to remember His birth. However, much emphasis is put upon His exit from this world. During the forty days after his crucifixion and resurrection, Jesus was seen by many witnesses. We are instructed to “remember His death and resurrection.” He talked to His disciples and taught them much about the kingdom of God. Then He was taken up into heaven while they stood watching. Two angels spoke to the disciples and said that just as He went into the sky, He would one day return. I know that may seem like a fairy tale to some people, but there is just too much historical data for me to dismiss it as nonsense. However, even that is not the point of this Tip. I realize that I am rambling, but I hope that you will give me the time it takes to read this Tip as your Christmas present to me this year!
The thing that amazes me more than anything else about the Christmas story is that Jesus was born to two very poor people and laid to sleep in a manger. I am sure He cried at times, like all babies do. Yet, when He left this earth, He was taken up into the clouds by angels and seen by many witnesses. That had to be the all time greatest victory rally! His exit was very different than his entrance! At that point, I am sure He was filled with joy and smiling!
A few weeks ago, I was reading a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson. He said, “When you were born, you were crying and everyone else was laughing. Live your life in such a way that when you die, you will be smiling and everyone else will be crying!” THAT IS WHAT THIS TIP IS ALL ABOUT. It is not how we were born that really matters. What is more important is our exit strategy.
Though these are uncertain times, I can assure you that one thing we are all going to do some day in the future is die. At the end of your life, will you have lived it in such a way that people will miss you, or will they be glad to see you go? I am sure you would prefer they miss you!
As we come to the end of this year, it is a great time to reflect on our own lives to see how we are doing. We should each strive to be the kind of person that everyone will sorely miss one day. It is not that we should live for the applause and accolades of other people alone. It is just that we should strive to contribute to others in such a way as to make a huge impact on their life. We are “difference makers”. At the end of the journey, we should all want to look back and see that our life contributed to the health and well-being of others. I know I want to be that kind of person and I am sure that you do, too!
Have a great week! God bless you!
Robert Rohm Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.
Just this week we ran into some electrical problems in our office building here at Personality Insights. One of the circuit breakers blew, which caused power to go out in several different rooms. When the electrician came to work on the problem, I pointed out to him that several of our overhead light fixtures were also not working. He got his ladder and began to try to diagnose the problem. Boy, was I in for a shock!
The electrician noticed that the ballasts had not been properly installed in the light fixtures. In fact, he let me feel one of them and it was almost hot enough to catch on fire! Right then and there I decided that it would be better to spend a little bit of money to fix the electrical issues in the office than it would be to find our building burned to the ground one day! Am I smart or what?!
You know, it is true in life, that when we get painted into a corner, or when we are in a desperate situation, it is at that point that we have to do something about it. Granted, this particular incident was not a crisis situation, but it could have turned into one very easily. I have found that one of life’s great teachers is a difficult situation. It often takes the pressure of something like that before we open our eyes and become creative.
Everyone knows about the small self-stick note papers called Post-It Notes. I would be willing to bet that almost everyone reading this Tip could reach out and touch a Post-It Note within a few feet from where they are at this very moment. Most of us use them and love them. But, did you know that Post-It Notes were never planned to be a product? No one came up with the idea and developed it. It took someone getting desperate before they got creative.
In the 1970’s, a man by the name of Spencer Silver was working for the 3M Research Laboratories, trying to develop a strong adhesive. Mr. Silver developed a new adhesive but, rather than being stronger, it turned out to be weaker than the one the 3M Company already manufactured. It stuck to objects but could easily be lifted off. Instead of being super strong, it was super weak! No one knew what to do with the material, but Mr. Silver did not discard it. He told a few of his friends about it but no one had gotten desperate enough to discover a creative use for it.
Then one Sunday, four years later, another 3M scientist named Arthur Fry, was singing in his church’s choir. He had used slips of paper to mark his place in his hymnal but they kept falling out of the book. He was so desperate that suddenly he became creative. He remembered Silver’s adhesive. Fry used some of the coating on a few of his markers with great success. With the weak adhesive, the markers stayed in place, yet lifted off the pages without damaging them when he wanted to remove them. It was only a matter of time before 3M began distributing Post-It Notes. However, it was not until 1980, ten years after Silver developed the super weak adhesive, that Post-It Notes were found on the shelves in most office supply stores. Today they are one of the most popular office products available in the world.
I love stories like that. They teach me that problems and challenges that come our way are truly just road markers to the next great success story.
Some of you are only inches away from finding your pot of gold at the end of your rainbow. I don’t know of anyone who is getting this Tip who does not deserve to be successful. It could be anyone. Why not you? All you have to do is get desperate enough and then the creative juices will begin to flow. While I would not wish hardship on anyone, I do hope that you get desperate enough to find your creative side and let it take you to places you have never imagined!
Have a great week! God bless you!
Robert Rohm Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.
One of the most difficult things in life to understand is emotions. When I was in high school, my good friend, David Gentry, used to tell me that we could not control our emotions or how we felt about things. Although there is a lot of truth to that when we are growing up, there comes a point at which we must begin to exercise control over our emotions. After all, we cannot simply allow our feelings to determine whether or not we will be hard working, committed adults. If we lean on our emotions, it will not be long before our life begins to fall apart.
Not too long ago, I was in a pizza restaurant. While the girl in front of me was waiting for her pizza to come, a song that she evidently knew began to play through the loudspeaker. She immediately got a big grin on her face and said to her friend, “Oh, boy! That is my favorite song. Now I’m going to have a good day!” I could not help but think to myself, “Wow, I am glad that my day is not determined by what song I hear on the radio!” Don’t get me wrong, there are some songs that I enjoy hearing too, but I do not let them control whether or not I am going to have a successful day. That is because my devotion to my faith, family and business are far ahead of my emotions.
Sometimes there needs to be a transfer of our devotion. If we are devoted to the wrong things, our emotions will tag along behind like a dog on a leash. However, if we are devoted to the right things, our emotions will naturally follow as well. I am sure that you have heard the famous quote, “Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” This is simply another way of saying that whatever we set our devotion upon will ultimately be the factor that determines our emotion.
Don’t get the cart before the horse. The horse should always be in front of the cart. That is the way it was designed to work. If the horse is your treasure (or devotion), then your heart will be the cart (or emotion) following along behind it. If we get it backwards and put the cart in front of the horse, we will experience one frustrating situation after another. Emotions are not designed to lead us. They are designed to follow. However, if we get these two in proper order, we will have a better chance of staying balanced in order to succeed in all that we do.
I have found that when I give my full attention and devotion to my family, my business and my faith, my life is much stronger and healthier emotionally. However, that does not happen by accident. It requires some thought and determination.
This week, let me encourage you to look carefully at the circumstances currently taking place in your life. Then select one issue upon which you can choose to focus. Ask yourself which is first, your devotion to that issue or your emotions concerning it. Perhaps, if you get those two things straight and in proper order, you will be a much happier person.
During the holiday season, it is very easy to let our emotions control us and lead us off in the wrong direction. Find out where your devotion and commitment are today and watch your emotions, in time, fall into line.
Have a great week! God bless you!
Robert Rohm Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.